[opening theme music]
Would somebody please cue that bird
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats... Ooh yeah! ♪
♪ Who do you call When you want some pepperoni? ♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats... ♪
Right on!
♪ They're stepping out crime And you know that ain't balony ♪
♪ There's Speedy Cerviche, He's the leader of the bunch ♪
That's right!
♪ A heck of a fighter Makes a heck of a lunch ♪
♪ And little Polly Esther Who's never afraid ♪
That's me!
♪ Of going into battle When the bad guys invade ♪
♪ Here's Guido Anchovis A wild romantic rover ♪
♪ This cat gets down down With a love hangover ♪
♪ Here come the Pizza Cats They're so bad ♪
♪ They've got more fur Than any turtle ever had ♪
♪ They're stronger Than old cheese ♪
♪ Stronger than old cheese ♪
♪ Stronger than dirt ♪
♪ Step on their tails ♪
Get off my tail!
♪ And you're gonna get hurt ♪
Don't hurt me!
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ They're fighting crime All over town ♪
♪ Three... Two... One... The Pizza Cats are on the run ♪
♪ The Big Cheese is the villain, Who's lower than low ♪
♪ It's a rotten shame He lives in Little Tokyo ♪
♪ We've got a nasty Bad Bird And some nasty Ninja Crowes ♪
♪ As soon as someone Finds the script ♪
♪ We might begin the show ♪
♪ Sit back and rest your feet And turn the sound up high ♪
♪ And if you want The full effects ♪
♪ Go eat a pizza pie ♪
[laughter]
[shrieks]
[splash]
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
[narrator] High on top Mount Kuji, far above Little Tokyo
Guru Lou works late in his laboratory.
[chuckles]
Hmm-mm.
[explosion]
[Guru Lou] Wow! That was a blast!
The instruction said, "Safe for ages six to sixty".
Anyway, my Elixir of Life is finally finished,
and destiny is in my grasp.
Ha-ha-ha-haa!
[narrator] Does Guru Lou really have the secret of eternal life
in his beaker?
Or is he just a giggling goon
[laughing]
Now the moment I have been waiting for.
I bet I live to be 3000 years.
To my health!
Wait a minute!
How do I know I'm not going to turn into a fish, or something?
This stuff is pretty powerful.
[lightning]
[rain]
I've got to find somebody else to be the guinea pig
to this experiment.
Somebody vain enough to use on me.
Somebody with the IQ of an oyster.
And I know just where to look.
[trumpet sound]
[Francine] There is no card or name in the box,
just this bottle.
"Doctor Whammy's Cure All"
-Ridiculous. -We can pour some on a pizza.
Forget it. Wouldn't help.
I says here that Dr. Whammy guarantees
this product to cure whatelsia.
It will bring you a dollar, if you are a failure.
It will wash your car, and make curly hair straight.
If you mix it with worms, it makes good fish bait.
Or drink it straight from the bottle,
it will help you lose weight.
What!?
Hey!
[Polly] Just what I need.
That's okay, just run right over me.
Polly, give me that thing!
I'm the leader of the cats.
I always get first dips on everything.
It's weight loss or fish bait you want.
You only need one, Polly,
your figure couldn't get more feline.
And you hate fish.
Ahh, well, just that fishy smell.
In any way, Polly, you're never going to get a date,
even skinny.
[explosion]
Take that, Guido brat!
Some day my prince will come for me.
And we'll live happily for ever and ever.
[Polly] Do your stuff, magical elixir.
[sound of drinking]
She's going to drink it all.
[gulping]
I really need my car wash, too.
[narrator] A goofy looking bird flies by
as Guru Lou waits for his test results.
My, my, my, lots of pretty girls here in Little Tokyo.
And I'm going to live to take them all, yeah!
That is if I can a handle on this drooling problem.
Now that Polly's tested this stuff...
Oh, no, what if she drank it?
[screams]
Anything could happen!
[slurps]
Eeek!
[Guido] Should you have drunk so much?
[Speedy] It's probably just water.
[Polly reacts]
Holy cat!
Just water, huh?
I'm ready for romance now.
[fiery sound]
I'm a delicate flower...
on fire! Help me!
I'm going to have a hot date.
Do you think laxative would be of any help?
How about a hose?
You guys! The fire is spreading down to my feet!
Ay, yay, yay!
I can't talk!
Oh, wow! Go to the window and get some air.
What do you suppose, if I push her out the window?
It was in the script?
[screams]
[Polly] I can't stop running!
[Seymour] Jerry, I've been thinking lately
it's time we got out this bad guy racket.
So much stress
Maybe, but there are also many rewards for being a bad guy.
There is many, sure, but what about us?
Huh?
We aren't getting any younger, you know.
Life's passing us by.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about the salad days, Jerry.
Cycling through without even pedaling.
Singing sailor songs, just the two of us.
Ya-ho-ho...
Snap out of it! We are the bad guys!
[Metro] Are you bitches?
I've been ordered to report to you.
I'm Captain Metro from Blown up with People.
Have you got anyone in need of attitude adjustment?
Who's this pork chop?
It must be the leader of the new youth group,
Bad Bird was telling us about.
I told him to go ahead and hire them
to terrorize Little Tokyo.
But town's people have flabby bobbies.
The town's people have no spirit.
They must be taught a new way.
I won't do aerobics.
Hi, they call me Popter.
[Seymour] How terrific, they breed.
They are cute, though.
Wait! Don't touch that thing!
Oh, he's harmless.
[explosion]
[Seymour] Jerry, the little dull boy exploded.
What's the [indistinct].
[Jerry] That's what I was trying to tell you, boss,
these robots detonate,
when they sense any strong emotion.
You shouldn't have gotten so mushy with it.
Give us one day,
and all of Little Tokyo will be Blown up with People.
Yeah!!
♪ Bomb-bomb-bomba-bomb ♪
[narrator] Blown up with People fan out throughout the city.
♪ Bomb-bomb-bomba-bomb ♪
[narrator] And as Lucille waits in the subway.
Oh!
[screams]
No, you must return the ball.
Remember to set up, and use both hands.
Let's try again.
Oh, you are mean.
Au!
Put a little effort into it.
Ohh!
Au! Ohh!
[bouncing sound]
-Au! -You lost.
[cheering]
Nice play.
I have to explode now.
[mumbles indistinctly]
Sorry, kid, that's the way it goes,
when you are couching George Steinbrenner.
I'm blowing uuuuup!
[lively music]
[explosion]
That makes me very unhappy.
And you know, when I'm unhappy,
I blow up!
[explosion]
[narrator] Next the Dynamite Dough Boys attack the beach.
♪ Bomb-bomb-bomb-bomb ♪
Blow up with people!
[explosion]
Thank you. Thank you!
That's a little song I wrote about myself
called Where did My Nose Go?
Ya all move in real close now, every body.
This next number is going to be a blast.
[explosion]
[narrator] So no place in Little Tokyo
is safe from them.
-Mister? -Huh?
Why are you leaving?
Don't you want to let me blow you up?
No right now. Thanks anyway.
I'm bad, I knew it!
I bet I don't even explode!
[explosion]
I better call the Pizza Cats,
before everyone in town gets blown up with people.
[rhythmic music]
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ They make great pizza But that ain't all ♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ They're ready to fight When you need 'em, just call ♪
♪ They know how to stop crime Just do what they say ♪
♪ If you don't want a bad time Stay out of their way ♪
[laughter]
[singer] I love those cats!
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
[announcer] Everyone, please clear the air space
for Pizza Cat launch.
And you guys better move that blast.
Fine chance!
[blasts]
Wow! how are you supposed to...
Hold it!
There's been a lot of viewer complains about you two.
Every episode the same stale jokes.
So, you are saying you don't like my jokes?
Of course you are funnier than the Pizza Cats,
so I'll be on my way now.
[explosion]
[narrator] If only all critics were so disposable.
Wow!
[narrator] Meanwhile swishing overhead:
Flying without Polly is weird, Speedy.
She's probably in the [indistinct] by now.
[screams]
That's troubling.
[narrator] Troubling in deed.
Commute to Cairo and back again.
How it outrages the road runner thanks to Guru Lou's elixir.
I can't stop!
[explosions]
Looks like all Little Tokyo is getting blown up with people.
I hope Guido and Speedy are all right.
[explosion]
Ah, they are here to blow me up!
They are here! They are here!
[screams]
[fighting]
[screams]
[screaming]
[explosion]
Ah-ahh!
Hey, you are no youth bomb.
No, I just dropped in to see about a certain beverage.
-So you're responsible? -Huh? Gu-huu.
Thanks to you, Polly's completely out of control,
when she should be helping to fight these bomb people.
Hey, any elixir left?
[explosions]
[narrator] Meanwhile the terror continues in Little Tokyo.
[moaning and groaning]
Don't worry!
Blowing up is good for you.
Clears those arteries out.
That's right.
come on everybody and join hands.
Watch the population explode!
Respect our brother.
If I think in the same lines as those,
I might be more interested in blowing up writer of his house.
Yeeh!
[Guido] There will be no more exploding dough boys, though,
because the good guys are here, and for the bad guys time's up.
Tell 'em Speedy!
We are here for the cause of freedom.
And ate our lunch.
Let's do it!
Only two of you today?
Where is the other one?
Polly is doing a little road work, I guess.
But the two of us are enough
to handle the likes of you any time.
Hm, hm, you guys need attitude adjustment.
It breaks my heart, I tell you.
You guys just make me want to blow up.
I think you are over reacting, Captain, and it could prove
to be bad for your health.
Henchmen.
Blow them to teensy pieces.
[cheering]
[laughter]
-Hey! -What if?
Now we see what kind of super heroes you really are
with a little dodge ball.
Oh, right!
What, am I crazy? I always got queened
when we played this game.
We've had it now.
Come on, pal.
Stay in front of me, if you are so good.
Pizza Kittens, be prepared to dodge.
[spinning sound]
Yahoo!
[sounds of throwing]
Man, these guys can throw.
It's all for a show.
I catch this one.
Good luck. Here is my fast ball.
[spinning sound]
Hi-ii-yup!
You caught my fast ball?
Yes, Speedy!
Now the paw is on the other shoe.
Shoe?
[explosion]
Wow, that dodge ball was a bomb.
Well, everybody cheats a little.
This is the Big Leagues after all.
But since you handled my fast ball so easily,
we must now begin to cheat a lot.
[sound of throwing]
[Speedy] Incoming! Wow! Oh!
[Speedy and Guido yelping]
And now be prepared to meet your doom.
[screams]
[explosion]
[Guido] Speedy, flap your arms!
[Guru Lou] Your pals aren't doing so well, they need help.
They only need help, because of you and that elixir.
[Guru Lou] Drink this!
Good, huh?
What are you trying to do? To poison me?
[fiery sound]
My feet! I can't stop!
I think I hear Guido calling you, Francine.
So long!
[Francine screams]
[Guru Lou] Don't forget to flap your arms.
[Lucille] Auch, she is going to feel that tomorrow.
[screams]
Another guinea pig. Ho-hoo.
[explosions]
[screams]
That girl has no tolerance.
Ahh, these sandals weren't built for this kind of speed.
[screams]
That last joker, did you hear something?
[groans] My ankle, ooh!
Sorry, that excuse is only good for women running in high heels,
from monsters in a jungle.
Hi, I'm coming through!
[explosions]
Is that Francine?
[screams]
What? Well, so much for dodge ball.
Try another game.
All right! Battle up everyone.
This doesn't look good.
We are youth, and youth is for explosion. Boom!
[narrator] Pizza Cat meet Bomb Perignon.
[Speedy] That's one big boy and I'm not talking hamburgers.
[Guido] The only lunch meat here is us,
if that thing decides to explode.
I'm a bit too close for comfort myself.
Hey, Bomb-Ol-Pal, trample on them cats.
What is that you are humming?
Cat Mash Feverr.
[narrator] Will this be the end of our heroes?
Will they be... Wait a minute.
There is still four minutes left.
That music can only mean one thing.
That Polly Esther, back from glamorous feline ride,
has come in the nick of time. Hey!
While Polly was busy, but you guys needed help.
So... [kisses]
It's Guru Lou come to save the day.
And I'm cuter than Polly anyway.
Hey, not bad.
Talk brother, who is this pocket hen?
heh, you are going to be sorry, you said that.
[Guru Lou] Yeah, here I come!
[smack]
[Speedy] So much for our rescuer.
[Guido] Maybe he's going to tunnel under,
and come up from behind.
[mumbles]
Ta-daa! Heh-heh.
Or maybe we really had it.
Now you have three targets.
Stump them out Bomb Perignon.
Bom-Bomb.
I got him, Guido! I'm, hmm...
That's okay, watch this.
You overgrown spud, I'll teach you!
[smacking sound]
[Guido] Uh-huh-huu.
[screaming and explosion]
Guido!
Don't worry, there is Speedy.
[ Guru Lou] I think I hear our secret weapon coming.
Somebody help me! [screams]
Hmm, just watch what happens, when she gets here.
Beat it, feet!
Ooh!
What?
[groaning]
Somebody, stop me!
[Lucille screams]
[explosions]
oh bom-bom-bomb...
Time now to polish up this humpty dumpty monster
with the Ginzu sword.
[narrator] You've seen it all before, fans,
and you're seeing it again.
For swirling hit flame, like minion up-tops scabbard.
And Speedy un-seized the magical victor sword.
[rhythmic music]
[battle call]
[explosion]
We better put some ice on my ankle.
Ta-daa!
Youth, bah, those kids are worthless
They are worthless, worthless!
[indistinct raving]
Oh, dancing! One of my favorite youthful activities.
Might if I join you?
By all means, come right on in, Captain.
Bad move, remember.
[screaming]
[explosions]
[coughs]
They are all fired.
Oh, that's relief.
[slam]
So you are Dr. Whammy, and you sent that bottle
of cure all to the pizza parlor to help us?
-Yeah. -Just you knew,
if Polly drink it, Francine and Lucille would, too,
and we'd end up meeting both of them at the last second
to save us from Blowing up with People.
Heh-hew!
Boy, are these two stupid.
I guess we ought to thank you.
I just did what any red blooded citizen
with a bottle of magic energy elixir,
and a half a brain cell would have done.
Do tell me, Lou, how long do you think
those girls will be running?
[Lou] They'll come to a stop when the elixir wears off.
They'll be a little thinner, though.
And while they are gone, we can play cards all night.
And eat all the pizza!
[Speedy] And leave all the dishes in the sink
for days and days without Francine yelling about it.
Say Lou, maybe you need to whip up another batch
of elixir, just in case.
[narrator] And so another of Big Cheese's dastardly blotches
foiled by Speedy Cerviche
whose ankle healed up nicely, thank you.
And his intrepid band of fighting kitties.
But wait, isn't something missing from this saga?
Where is Bad Bird in all of these shenanigans?
Hiding under a water fall?
When I find the[indistinct] I'm going to charge him
for a whole new leather right wing.
First, those cats are going to meet a new Bad Bird.
[narrator] Will the healing waters make Bad Bird invincible?
Or will they just kind of shrink
his little leather outfit?
Make him crabby?
Ladies and gentlemen, the Samurai Pizza Cat fan club!
Oh!
The Pizza Cats are samurai.
And I'd like to note...
Their antics take your breath away.
Like fur balls in your throat.
We kittens are a special breed, we never call a retreat.
Whenever Big Cheese knocks us down,
we run upon our feet.
[narrator] So, hail to thee, O, Pizza Cat,
please ring your little bell,
although you may be pen and ink, we know you fight like...
Pizza Cats!
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ We hope you liked the show It's the best that we could do ♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ If you could do better Then we'd leave it up to you ♪
♪ Just a reminder You might like to know ♪
♪ The Cats will be back for another big show ♪
♪ Hahahahahahaha Oh, gosh ♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ They're fighting crime, Oh yes ♪
♪ All over town ♪
♪ Two, four, six, eight Why do we exaggerate ♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪
♪ Read all the credits so You'll know who did the work♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats ♪